My journey has been long. It has been light and dark. It has been bliss, and it has been pain. But I'm here for it all.
I'm not here to tell you that it's all about love and light. That's not real. That's not me.
I am here to tell you that the darkness is part of it. The pain is powerful. And in that darkness and pain lies so much growth and beauty.
As a child I was systematically sexually abused, for years. In the religious context that this abuse happened, it was not dealt with in a constructive way, and I was left to sit with it, on my own, with no guidance, no reassurance, and no repercussions for my abuser.
For years I blamed myself. I thought there must have been something that I had done to deserve it, to encourage it. My guilt and shame went bone deep.
I really started to feel the mental and emotional turmoil of this when I was in my teens. I was angry, furious in fact. I was chronically depressed, suffered from severe insomnia, and eventually debilitating panic attacks. By the time I got to college I had been in a terribly abusive relationship, I hadn't slept for two years, I numbed myself with drugs and had disconnected from my body, especially below my waist. I felt nothing, and I felt I was worth nothing.
Luckily, my weeks-long migraines and horrible panic attacks led me to try everything I could think of to feel better. Just when I thought I had exhausted all of my options, I signed up for an eight week Hatha Yoga class. After the first session, I had no pain, I could breathe fully, and my mind was calm. I couldn't believe it. I knew there was something magickal in this, and I couldn't wait to learn more.
This began my path of healing and self-discovery. I have since conquered my anxiety, I no longer suffer from migraines or insomnia, and I feel wholly connected to my body, mind, emotions and spirit. I have taken Yoga Teacher Trainings and now lead them myself; I have taken and continue to take countless courses in Tantra, Astrology, Shamanism, Reiki and Qi Gong; I studied with Meditation and Mindfulness Teachers and become one myself; I traveled for two years with my amazing partner, and lived with aboriginal peoples in Australia, Thailand, Indonesia, India and Nepal; I have been on the brink of separation more than once, and managed to repair my relationship to be so much better than it has ever been before.
My path has led me here ~ to a place where I feel Called. I am called to share my story, to share the tools I have learned and used, to coach women in their own healing journey, to help them transform their lives the way that I have and continue to do.
I used to believe that Healing was a destination. Over many years of hard work, misery, physical, mental and emotional pain, I have come to the conclusion that healing never ends. The medicine wheel keeps turning, and every time it comes back around, the healing just gets deeper and deeper. The experience becomes more profound and powerful.
Thank you for taking a moment to read some of my story. I hope you feel inspired to continue to heal, grow, evolve, and come home to the amazing Woman and Goddess that you already are. I am honoured that you are here.